Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish really helped me to see the source of hard feelings among siblings. A lot of times, it just comes down to the desire of being heard.

I bought this book shortly after my second child was born. The baby couldn't even talk but my kids were already rivals. They both wanted me. And they both seemed to not like the other about half of the time.

This book made SO MUCH SENSE to me.

There are actual examples of rivalry and how different parents handled different situations. One mother had a child who asked her, "Mom, what if we were all on a sinking boat and you could only save one of us. Who would you save?" She had the best answer.

"I could not imagine life without you or any of your siblings."

Then she proceeded to tell her child all the wonderful ways in which she contributes to the family. Sometimes, just listening to everyone's side helps to dissipate a fight. Just knowing that someone is listening helps to calm us down. Amazing.

Other books by the same author include How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk (1999), and How to Talk so Teens will Listen and Listen so Teens will Talk (2012).